"There is no coming to conciousness without pain" ~Carl Gustav Jung
Back then I was always feeling sorry for myself. I had a list, when I met somebody new i'd conversationally insert that list somewhere.
That list was a list I carried since childhood, it was very dense and cumbersome; It contained within it a record of all the bad things.
It was too much for me to carry; but it was also too much for the people I care about. I didn't realize it then, but the bad things had become my identity.
I'm not exactly sure when I stopped carrying my list with me, but things are much lighter these days, even when the world is heavy.
I still struggle, toil, and break just like I did before. Only difference is that I don't have to blame somebody anymore.
I forgive life for being hard, and more importantly I forgive myself for not being very good at it thus far.
Trying to shoulder all of your yesterdays is a tremendous task, when all you have to carry with you is today.
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